Germany and Russia Moments
by Purfessorkitty
Summary: Just a little bundle of stories I decided to write for my favorite pairing, GermanyxRussia. Each story is a short one-shot. :P I may not write a lot of stories... that may be a lie, though. Rated T for slight sexual moments, innuendos, a little more than mild cursing. Etc, etc. I tried to make some of these stories funny as hell. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Germany and Russia Moments  
**

**Boo!**

* * *

The silence seemed to drift through. The German looked around. He had entered Russia's house, looking for him. No one had seen him in a while, although they'd all been too afraid to check if he was OK, so they forced Germany to go. He sighed.

He remembered it was Halloween, his least favorite holiday. He was the only one who hadn't worn a costume. They were going to a party, and this time, America had actually invited Russia, but he wasn't coming. Strange.

"Russia?" He spoke loudly, hoping the Russian was somewhere. There was no response. He heard the sound of footsteps. He looked around, no one was near. He walked up the staircase next to the kitchen. Where was he?

"Russland? Where are you?" He asked. He didn't see anything out of place.

He scratched his head, walking down the corridor. All of the doors had been opened, the Russian was nowhere to be seen. Turning back to go down the stairs, a figure caught his eye. "Russia, is that you?" He asked. The figure let out something like a growl, before pouncing on top of the German and knocking them both to the ground.

"What the hell?!" He tried to get up, but he was being held down. He realized Russia was above him. "E-eh? Russia what are you doing? Let me go." He spoke calmly. Russia straddled him while holding down both of his wrists, preventing him from getting up.

He leaned down, smelling him a bit. "Russia?" He tried to push him away, it didn't work. The Russian smiled, letting go of his wrists.

He looked back at the German's face, his smile revealing two sharp fangs. Germany just stared in obvious bewilderment.

Russia leaned back down, a bead of saliva dribbling from his chin as he opened his mouth to bite the German's neck. Germany struggled to get away, pushing against the Russian. "Stop it! What are you doing?!" He screeched, feeling the Russian's hot breath.

Russia pulled the collar of the German's shirt down, beginning to suck on his neck softly. Germany stopped squirming, a light tint of pink across his cheeks.

"R-Russland. What are you doing?" He asked more calmly. The Russian didn't reply, moaning softly as he continued to suck on his neck. Germany closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. He felt his pants tighten a bit.

He felt two sharp objects dig into his flesh, making him groan quietly. "Russia..."

He felt the Russian pull back, spitting slightly. He heard him giggle.

Russia sat up, allowing the German to see him. He was wearing fake fangs, that were sharp. Small drips of crimson fell from them. "Boo!" He smiled. Germany stared at him in confusion.

"I scared you, didn't I?" He giggled again, still sitting on him.**  
**

Russia got off of him, walking down the stairs happily. Germany remained on the floor.

_Wait, so that was just a prank? _

_Dammit..._

* * *

**A/N: Dammit Germany. **

**Only in your perverted imagination you would think that Russia was trying to have sex with you... oAo xD**

**This was story one to a short story series. **

**Second story soon~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Moonlight and Black... with Matryoshkas!**

**(Gekkou to Kuro)(Matoryoshika)**

* * *

Russia walked down the corridors of the building. They had gone to a meeting, and now Russia was trying to find a way to leave.

_"Blotted with drops of bitter tears, was a black and ugly, Cursed Fairy-tale." _

He heard a deep voice sing. Despite how low the voice was, the song sounded amazing. He stopped, listening if the singing would continue.

_"The body tormented by fate was by birth. _

_It was pained a smooth darkness in an instant._

_If 'those' sparkling things were already looked at. _

_In front of my painted self within the night, a blessing appeared,_

_The sound of a distorted wind, the ever sad forest, and a red-hooded... _

_'Girl?'" _

He followed the sound of the voice as it continued to sing.

_"Cursed within the moonlit world, I'm transforming into this ugly form._

_'Are you not afraid of me?' _

_The little girl smiled, _

_and I ended up falling in love with her..." _

He arrived at the door of the meeting room. The Russian nudged it open slightly. What he saw amazed him.

Germany was singing...

_Germany. _Was. _Singing... _

He thought he was about to die for a minute.

Germany was sitting alone... Scratch that. He wasn't sitting. He was dancing... on top of the table...

_"That kind girl was a brief moment of happiness. _

_However, I am a cursed beast that thirsts for blood._

_Surely, someday, I would probably hurt her. _

_So before that happens, I'll escape from her quietly. _

**_I'm sorry, _**

**_Farewell..._**_" _

Next thing he knew, the German began to shout the words, still singing. He'd never hear him use his voice like this before.

_"That which wished for the girl's happiness was an ugly beast, a cursed wolf. _

_Blotted with the drops of bitter tears, _

_was his smile, a red-hood, and the shine of the moon..._

_Ah, the very last moon..." _

Russia hadn't realized that he had stepped into the room. Germany had his back to him, so he couldn't see him. "G-Germany?" He asked. The German jumped in fear. "HOLY SHIT! What the fuck is there?!" He shouted, falling off the table.

Russia couldn't help but let out a slight giggle. Germany lifted himself up, seeing the Russian. His face turned a dark scarlet. "You didn't hear me singing, did you?" He asked, nervous.

Russia smiled, nodding his head slowly. Germany slammed his head on the table.

"B-but I liked your voice!" He confessed, not wanting the German to kill himself with the table.

Germany looked at him. "What?"

Russia smiled, looking at his feet shyly. "The way you sung the song was nice. It sounded so... unique." He blushed slightly.

Germany looked at him. Was he being serious? He liked his voice? To himself he sounded like Satan on crack or something. His voice was so low.

"D-do you want to hear _me _sing?" Russia asked, smiling. "If you think your voice is really bad, then I'll show you how I sing..."

Germany nodded. "OK..." He wasn't so sure. The Russian cleared his voice, beginning to sing.

_"A message I've thought too much about, _

_maybe it'll reach somebody, who can say? _

_Certainly, I've always been this way. _

_Just a little crazy, _

_Matryoshka." _

Germany stared in disbelief. His voice was so cute. He sung quietly at first, but then his voice got louder.

_"A package brought by a headache. _

_However long, the hands are at four. _

_Don't tell anyone else; _

_That the world is turning upside down. _

_Ah, I feel broken apart. _

_Throw away your memories~_

_Ah, how I want to know, _

_what's deep down inside? _

_Um, well... _

_Dance for me, please. Now, more and more!_

_Kalinka? Malinka? Just play the chord, please. _

_What should I do about these feelings?_

_Can't you tell me? Just a little bit. _

_Loud and clearly now, Five, two and four!_

_Freud? Keloid? Beat to the key, please!_

_Everything, all is to be laughed at. _

_Now, dance with all your foolishness." _

Germany smiled as the Russian continued. He sat in one of the chairs next to the table.

_"Clap your hands, not entirely childish,_

_and watch to this purposely crazed tune. _

_Really, I don't care either way, _

_the warmth of the world is melting away. _

**_You and me... rendezvous? _**

**_Rendezvous? _**

**_Really? Rendezvous? _**

**_Oh, or maybe an adventure? _**

**_With a crooked gait!_**

**_One, two! One, two!_**

_Ah, I'm ready to burst out. _

_Please, could you catch every part of me? _

_Ah, with both of your hands, _

_catch me for me... _

_Um, well... _

_Listen! Listen! It's important!_

_Kalinka? Malinka? Just pinch my cheek, please!_

_It's just that I can't control myself. _

_Should we do something more? _

_Pain, hurt, but please don't cry!_

_Parade? Marade? Just clap some more, now. _

_Wait, you said to me, wait, wait!_

_Before we drop to just one..." _

The song sounded so energetic. Although, the lyrics sounded a little demented.

_**"You and me... rendezvous? **_

_**Rendezvous? **_

_**Really? Rendezvous? **_

_**Oh, or maybe an adventure? **_

_**With a crooked gait!**_

_**One, two!**_

_**One, two!**_

_Lai, Lai, Down with a sickness? _

_Lai, Lai, This is SONG!_

_Lai, Lai, Even today, _

_I'm still a little crazy, _

_Matryoshka!... _

_Hey, hey, hey, _

_Dance for me, please. Now, more and more!_

_Kalinka? Malinka? Just play the chord, please!_

_What should I do about these feelings? _

_Can't you tell me? Just a little bit..." _

Russia's voice went from soft-spoken to a low shout.

_"Loud and clearly, now! Five, two, and four!_

_Freud? Keloid? Just hit the key, please!_

_Everything, all is to be laughed at!_

_Now stop, the dance had come to an end!_

_Chu-chu-chu-chu, La-lu-la. Tai-yai- ah, ah, -iya-tta-tta._

_Chu-chu-chu-chu, La-lu-la. Tai-yai- ah, ah, -iya-tta-tta."_

Russia smiled, finishing his song. "My voice isn't very great. I know." He added, shyly.

"Huh? Germany?" He realized that the German was unconscious on the floor, puddles of crimson around him. He had fallen unconscious from a massive nosebleed. "A-are you alright?"

* * *

**A/N: Russia's voice was too sassy for Germany. **

**The songs they were singing were Vocaloid songs! :D Yay!**

**The first song, in which Germany was singing was _Gekkou to Kuro... _or _Moonlight and Black... _Listen to Konori sing this song. You'll be amazed at how he and Germany sound the same. *w* **

**The second song was _Matryoshka... _I'm sure most of you Vocaloid lovers recognized this song right away. :P **

**Story three soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**The Number One Princess**

* * *

Germany knocked on the door to the Russian's room. "Russia, what are you doing? You've been in there forever." The only response was a slight rustle.

He opened the door. "Russia?"

Russia had his back to him, wearing something like a dress. It was a bright purple, and it showed his surprisingly curved figure. His scarf seemed to dangle from his shoulders.

_"The number one, princess throughout the entire world...!" _

He sang as he danced a bit, holding a brush as if it were a microphone. Germany just stared in horror. He could hear the music playing. A faint, robotic woman was singing in the Japanese language.

_"Of course, you should know by now, how to please me..." _

He spun around, pointing at the German.

_"Got it...?"_

He froze up, staring at him.

"Russland...?" Germany asked. Russia stood up straight, holding the mic embarrassingly. "Privet." He giggled.

Germany backed away slowly, shutting the door cautiously behind him.

Russia sat on the end of the bed, blushing darkly... until...

Germany came back in the room, kicking the door down. No, he literally _kicked _the door of its hinges and to the ground. He was wearing something like a bright azure tunic. He began to sing in a screaming manner.

_"The number one, princess throughout the entire world!_

_I know that bu heart, so, _

_You are forever my... _

_Bride!" _

He danced crazily, as if he were intoxicated from drinking too much... which is probably what he did in the matter of five seconds before breaking into the room and screaming like a psychotic maniac on drugs.

Russia just sat there, until Germany grabbed his arm, pulling him to dance with him. (This just got weird. D:)

Japan walked through the house. Why did he hear the music of Hatsune Miku playing? Who could possibly be listening to her sing? Not many people knew about the Japanese song artist.

As he stepped down a corridor, he could hear two familiar voices singing along to the song. He nudged the door it was coming from open. His jaw dropped. Germany and Russia were singing and dancing with each other. Wearing ridiculous medieval outfits.

He fell back, fainting.

* * *

**A/N: ... That was beautiful. **

**It brings the tears of sadness to my ears- I mean eyes... **

**Throughout this story thingy, I might turn Germany into a psychopath, but don't you worry, Russia will still be the crazy person he is. :P **

**Story four soon**


	4. Chapter 4

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Eek! Slenderman!**

* * *

"Why are we here again?" Germany asked, as he, Russia, Italy and Prussia each walked through the forest. "America says there's a creepy legend in this forest er somethin' like that." Prussia replied, holding the flashlight.

Italy walked cautiously behind them. "Was it really a good idea to listen to him?" He asked, smiling nervously. Germany shook his head. "Italy, there are no such things as monsters." He spoke, sighing. Russia stayed silent, walking beside him.

"Did you see this?" The Italian asked, looking at one of the trees. The three walked to him, seeing the piece of notebook paper stapled to the tree. It had a scribbled message on it;

_**DoN't LoOk bAcK!**_

_**He WaTchEs WItH nO EyEs!**_

Russia plucked it off the tree. "If they didn't want anyone to go here, they could've just said so." He spoke, looking at the scratchy drawing of a tall man wearing something like a suit and tie.

"He has no face..." Italy pointed out. "Do you think he could be one of those thingies?

"You mean the Pictonians?" Prussia asked. "There's no way," Germany informed. "they all were sent back to their planet or some freaky anime shit like that."

Russia pointed. "Eh, Germany?" He spoke, smiling. "There's a tall man with no face behind you." He inquired descriptively. The German raised an eyebrow, turning around. There was a man, probably around ten feet tall, behind him. He wore a black suit and tie, as depicted in the picture. His head remained a white, bald circle.

"Ooh! I know what to do!" Italy smiled, digging into his pocket. He pulled out a marker, stepping in front of the faceless man. He scribbled a face onto him, making his appearance less threatening. "Perfect!" He smiled.

The man only continued to stand, as if staring down at them with malice. "Why isn't he happy?" Prussia asked. "Gee, I don't know. He might be happy, but who knows? He doesn't have a real motherfucking face!" Germany shouted back to him.

Tentacles lashed out from behind the man, confirming that he wasn't a regular Pictonian. An eerie grin tore from his face, bits of skin falling from his now visible mouth. "OH SHIT! He has a face! Run like a motherfucker-!" "Wait!" Italy stopped him from rushing off. "Maybe it's friendly!" Right after he said that, the creature lifted him up and threw him against a tree. "Italy!" The three shouted in unison.

"Run, Forrest! Run!" Prussia shouted as the four of them rushed away from the creature.

"Prussia! You're not helping by screaming random things out like an asshole!" Germany faced him. Prussia glared at him, looking ahead. "Holy mother of Christ! Tree!"

Germany looked back in front of him. "Oh mein Gott!" He jumped out of the way, nearly slamming into the tree.

Russia stopped running, turning to face the creature. "What da fuck are you doin'?!" Prussia asked him. The Russian ignored him, walking to the creature.

The slender man stood in front of him, looking down at him as if he were a helpless child. Russia held out his faucet pipe, which he always carried around with him for a reason no one will ever find out, and slammed it forcefully into the creature. It took him a second to realize that the pipe had been caught by one of the tendrils.

"Eh?" A tentacle curled around him, preventing him from moving his arms. "Let go of me, you mannequin!" He shouted, kicking his legs around. The creature grinned slyly.

Prussia cowered behind his younger brother. "Ermahgerd. TENTACLE RAPE!"

Germany rushed toward the tall creature. "Not today. NOT EVEN TOMORROW."

He extended his leg back to kick him. "THIS. IS. EVERYTHING!" He shouted, kicking the creature to the ground.

The slender figure dropped Russia from its grasp. "Owie..." Russia complained from falling on the ground, rubbing his head.

Italy walked out from the shadows. "I'm OK!" He shouted gleefully, waving his arms around as if to attract their attention.

Just then, a tendril grabbed him by his waist. "NYEH." He was thrown somewhere in the oblivion.

"You son of a flying duck." Germany criticized.

"More like flying Italians." Prussia added.

Speaking of Italians, Romano appeared out of nowhere, or he just walked into the forest without them knowing, and kicked Germany in his shin.

"What did you do to my brother?!" He asked, putting a sparkling moustache on for no apparent reason at all. (This has turned completely random)

Germany looked at him. "What? I didn't do anything! It was him!" He pointed to the air, in which the creature just was.

"The tree?" Prussia asked. Russia looked at them in confusion. "Wasn't there a man there before?" He asked. Germany nodded, but Prussia shook his head.

"If he isn't there then..." Prussia thought for a minute.

"WHO WAS KIDNAP?"

No one ever did find Italy. They never knew that he actually went to Narnia and partied with unicorns and rainbows.

* * *

**A/N: That was the most heartbreaking story ever.**

**Did you like my references? OwO Especially the Who Was Phone one?**

**This story goes from neutral to retardedly crazy. **

**I think I was high on chocolate when I wrote this. I hope you enjoyed the randomness. :D**

**Story five soon. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Becoming One with Russia**

* * *

The countries continued to argue. Only this time, two of them weren't fighting along with the group, and just watching. "This'll probably go on for the rest of the meeting." Germany complained.

Russia turned to him, smiling shyly. "Germany, can I ask you a question?" The German looked at him. "Ja. What is it?"

His smile increased. "Would you become one with me?" He asked happily. Germany's face went red. "E-eh?! That's a rather sudden question!" Russia giggled. "It's okay. It's not like anything bad could happen."

Germany sighed. "F-fine." He leaned forward. Russia leaned back a bit, smiling nervously. "Germany? What are yo-" He was cut off by the German connecting their lips together. "Mmph?!"

Russia's eyes widened, his entire face a bright scarlet. He pounded his fists against the German's shoulders, begging for him to pull away. He wouldn't budge. Germany was enjoying the kiss too much to stop. The Russian's lips felt so soft and cold compared to his warm ones.

"What are you two dudes doing?" They heard America ask. The German immediately let go, looking towards the crowd of countries looking at them. Russia gasped for breath beside him. "OH MEIN GOTT IN HEAVEN! West is raping Russia! This is the greatest moment of my life!" Prussia grinned, Spain and France smirking beside him.

Hungary clapped her hands together. "I KNEW IT!" She shouted, running out of the room while dragging Japan with her to get a camera. Belarus glared at Germany, Ukraine was beside her, crying. Everyone around them backed away uncomfortably. Romano busted out into laughter while Italy sat paralyzed beside him.

Russia pushed Germany away from him, making the German fall to the floor. "Th-that's not what I meant!" He spoke, his face still beat red.

France walked up in between them. "Mes amis, no need to be ashamed of love." The two looked at him. "You shut your trap, Perverser!" Germany spoke harshly, pushing the Frenchman out of the way.

"Meeting's over!" America announced, rushing out of the room. The rest followed. Germany and Russia were the only ones in the room... Never mind, France, Spain, and Prussia were watching from afar.

"Wait, so you said that wasn't what you meant?" Germany asked. Russia nodded. "B-but why did you kiss me? What else did you think becoming one meant?" He asked. The German blushed, taking a seat in the chair beside him. "I... I thought it meant to..." He looked down. Russia tilted his head, waiting for the answer. "I thought it meant to have sex..." He finally confessed.

Russia blushed a deep crimson. "I-is that what it sounded like?" He asked, a nervous smile across his face. Germany nodded. "What _does _it mean anyway?" He questioned.

"It means to be friends!" Russia smiled. Germany looked up at him. "F-friends?" He asked. The Russian nodded. Germany couldn't help but remember how smooth the Russian's lips were. He blushed, wanting to feel them again. But he couldn't. Could he?

"Germany? Are you alright?" Russia asked him. Germany was staring intensely at him. "Huh?" He shook his head, coming back to reality. "You kind of spaced out." He smiled.

Germany smiled back. He never realized how cute the Russian was. He felt a throb in his pants.

"Germany." He spoke again. "What's with the smile?" Germany realized he was staring at the Russian with a creepy perverted smile across his face. "Sorry." He spoke. Russia giggled.

The trio sat under the table, watching from a slight distance. "It's not gonna happen, Prussia." Spain spoke. The Prussian grinned. "Wait a minute."

Russia looked away, a small smile on his lips. His face was so pale, and endearing, and... Germany couldn't hold himself back anymore. He grabbed the Russian by his scarf, smashing their lips together. "Mmph! Mmmph!" Russia tried to speak, but everything he said was muffled. He pushed against the German's chest, but he wouldn't pull back.

The Russian slammed his fists against the German repeatedly. He detached their lips, but he wouldn't let him go. "Germany! Stop! What are you doing?!" The German pushed him onto the table, continuing to kiss him harshly. Russia felt tears fall from his eyes.

Prussia, France, and Spain all stared in amazement. "D-do you think we should stop him?" The Spanish man asked. Prussia waved it off. "Nah, it's OK... I'm so proud of him." He smiled. France tugged on his jacket's sleeve. "He's going a little too far though. We have to tell him to stop!" The two watched in horror as Germany began to unbutton the Russian's coat. Prussia's eyes widened. "Oh shit, I wasn't paying attention- BAD TOUCH TRIO, TO THE RESCUE!" He declared, rushing towards the two with France and Spain following close behind.

* * *

**A/N: Germaneh, stahp.**

**GERMANEH... STAHPPET. **

**Welp, it's official. Germany has turned into a rapist.**

**GODDAMMIT GERMANY! YOU HAD ONE JOB! **

**And that job was _NOT _to be a rapist. **

**STORY SIX SOON~!**


	6. Chapter 6

**GeRMa-Belarus and Russia Moments**

**Taking Care of a Little Belorussian Sister**

* * *

Russia sighed. Ukraine set him to keep an eye on Belarus. He wasn't sure why, wasn't she old enough to look after herself? But then she explained that she had currently tried to drown Lithuania in a bowl of soup, so he had to make sure she wouldn't hurt anyone else. _What if she hurts me? _He asked himself, sighing.

The two walked through the streets of Rome. They had gone on a visit to Italy. Belarus kept trying to hold Russia's arm as she slightly walked beside him. He smiled, but on the inside he was brutally terrified. "Eh, Belarus, could you back away a bit?" He asked, trying to lean away from her as far as possible.

Belarus ignored him, finally grasping his arm. Her face remained a blank expression. Russia tried to yank his arm back, but she wouldn't let go. He sighed nervously. She was always so _creepy..._

"So, Big brother, why did we go to Italy?" She asked, as if looking for a certain answer that would please her. Russia looked at her. He looked into her threatening, cold, icy eyes. "I thought we could go and see another country." He explained, laughing nervously. He thought he were about to die of fear.

His sister rested her chin on his shoulder, making him shiver a bit. She was too close! She was invading his private space! (Heh, Japan reference.)

"Wh-why did you ask? Were y-you thinking something?" He asked, a trembling smile on his face. The Belorussian grasped his arm tighter. "I thought you were going to make a confession to _**marry me...**"_  
Her voice was so icy and cold, as if she were the snow. Russia whimpered, clearly afraid. He wanted to run away from her, screaming and flailing his arms around like a psychotic little girl, but he couldn't. She would find him, she always does. It was as if she could sense where he was every moment of his life.

Hell, one time out of nowhere, she kicked his house's front door to the ground instead of even checking to see if it were locked in the first place! She scared the shit out of the poor Russian.

Russia spotted Italy walking in the distance. He seemed to be by himself. Odd, he was always with Germany. At least, it _looked _like Italy. He had the same mahogany colored hair, a curl bouncing up from the left side of his hair. Did Italy _always_ wear an outfit which looked like a tan zookeeper's uniform? No, it was Romano.

He seemed to notice them as well, because he stopped in terror. He froze in place, waiting for them to pass him. Once they did, he ran down the sidewalk to the next block.

Russia sighed. Everyone they walked passed either looked at them in horror because of their creepiness, or swooned by how cute they were together... that thought made Russia disgusted. They were siblings, which was incest.

He felt Belarus nuzzle on his neck. He cried quietly, wanting her to stop. "Ci-ciao, Bel-larus! Russia!" He heard the stuttering voice of Italy. He looked up. "Italy? It's good to see you!" He smiled, relieved. He could tell that Italy was a little afraid to see them, his face looked upset. "H-have you seen Germany anywhere?" He asked, smiling nervously.

Russia thought for a moment. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Germany in a while. "Nyet. Have you, Belarus?" He looked at his sister, who had moved away from him. Belarus looked down, her face still expressionless. She shook her head softly and slowly.

Italy nodded. "If you see him anywhere, could you let me know?" He asked. The two nodded. "Romano? Where have you gone to?" He called as he walked through the crowd of people.

Russia continued to walk down the street with his sister. He looked down. "It's okay, Big brother." Belarus cooed.

"Wherever Germany is, I'm sure he's fine." She shined a smile, which to him only came out disoriented and demented. Russia didn't answer.

Belarus felt in her apron's pocket. She still had her knife. Good. She wasn't going to let _anyone _ruin this moment with her brother. She _would _get him to marry her someday. Even if she had to force him into it with a little devious trick.

* * *

**A/N: That was creepy. **

**Did you see what I did there? In the title? :O BELARUS HAS TAKEN OVER!**

**Don't worry, there'll still be Germany and Russia moments. I'm just gonna do a little alternate thing with Belarus. **

**She told me to do this... she's holding a knife to my throat right now... D: Not really. **

**STORY SEVEN SOON!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Never Stay Around a Drunk German**

* * *

Prussia burst into laughter. Whenever his little brother was drunk, it was hilarious.

"Y-you know what I th-think?" He spoke, sitting next to Russia. The Russian eyed him curiously. They were in the meeting room. Everyone had already left, but Prussia, Russia, and Germany haven't.

"You have a v-very, effeminate face, b-but that's okay," He spoke, in between hiccups. "you're... y-you're still a very handsome woman." He shined Russia a drunken smile. Russia lifted an eyebrow. "Wh-what?"

Prussia laughed even harder. "West, you've had one too many." He spoke, patting his brother on his back. Russia smiled. "What was the point of this anyway?" He asked. Prussia grinned. "I just wanted to show you what he was like when he was drunk. It's hilarious, right?"

Before Russia could answer, Germany slipped his hands under his scarf, rubbing his neck. "Why do you wear this anyway?" He asked. Russia blushed. His neck had always been very sensitive. "M-my sister made it for me." He replied, smiling. It was true. Ukraine had knitted the scarf for him so he could face the harsh cold.

The German continued to rub his neck with his warm hands, making the Russian squirm. "C-could you stop?" He asked softly, not liking the touch. Germany answered by pulling his scarf down and connecting his mouth to the Russian's neck. "Germany!" Russia screeched, his face a bright crimson.

Prussia tried to hide a few laughs. Russia tried to push the drunken German off of him. He was tickling him and making him uncomfortable at the same time. "Quit it! Please! This feels weird!" He spoke, smiling a bit as he began to giggle softly. The German licked his neck like a kitten would do with a bowl of milk, making the Russian's laughs louder.

"Nyeh! Stop it!" He shouted, leaning back in his chair. He fell back, the two of them falling to the ground.

Germany straddled him, still sucking on his neck. Russia pushed against him, his entire face red from laughing. "I- I can't breathe! G-Germany!" He giggled, nearly screaming in laughter. Prussia watched. He couldn't tell if his brother was trying to molest or tickle the Russian.

Germany tickled the Russian's sides, making him cry from laughter. "K-kyah! Kn-knock it off!" Germany began to produce a low hum, making Russia's laughter even more intense, if it were possible. "Germany!" He cried.

His laughs started to sound torturous, almost as if he were crying instead. Finally, he stopped moving. Germany looked at him confused. "Oh shit, he's dead. I don't know who did it, though." He said stupidly, still straddling him.

Prussia walked to the Russian's side. He was breathing lightly, red still across his cheeks. He had fallen unconscious from the nonstop tickling.

He didn't really know what to do now. Should they leave? Leaving him there? No, God knows what would happen if France walked in.

Germany was currently staring at the Russian's face... just intensely staring. Because it's not creepy waking up to find a drunk German sitting on top of you watching you while you sleep.

Russia's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Eh?" He noticed the German on him. Before Germany could fondle him, or do whatever the hell he was about to do, Prussia pulled him off. "That's enough liquor for you, Pal." He spoke, dragging Germany out of the room. "I WILL EAT THE UNBORN!" Germany screeched as he was pulled away. "FIVE CATS FOR FIVE DEUTSCHE MARKS AT ARBY'S!" Russia smiled, getting up from the ground and walking down the corridor along with them.

Italy broke through the ceiling, fragments of the roof crashing into the corridor. "Hi guys!" He spoke gleefully. Then Britain began to chase them through the building wearing a a pink fairy dress while waving a wand around.

* * *

**A/N: This was my favorite story so far. xD **

**TO ARBY'S! **

**Chapter eight soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Happy Birthday, Russia!**

* * *

Russia rubbed his eyes as he sat up. Why was it so dark in his room? Why was it dark in the _house_? It was only 9:30 a.m.

He realized that dark curtains had been drawn across the windows, keeping light from entering. He didn't remember doing anything like that. Though, he was alone in his house, so no one else could've done it. He swung his legs to the side, yawning. His feet touched the cold wooden floor as he stepped to the door. It was opened slightly. He shrugged, figuring he had left it open before. Before going out the room, he dressed in his usual attire, his beige coat with matching beige pants. The house was cold. A bitter freezing breeze carried through.

What was going on? Once he reached the bottom of the steps, he figured out why. The front door had been opened, snow melted into the mahogany wooden floor. Who the hell broke into his house? He shut the door, looking around. Nothing looked different, despite the darkened curtains on the windows. The snowy footprints seemed to lead to the kitchen. He followed them cautiously. "Who's there?" He asked, stepping into the room. The knife drawer had been opened hastily.

He heard the sound of wooden floorboards creaking behind him. He whirled around. Nothing was there.

Once he turned back around, he jumped in surprise. A knife had swung towards him. "Kyah!" He cried, falling on the floor. Belarus stood over him, her cold eyes stared at him crazily. "Guess what day it is, Big brother!" She spoke, a light smile across her face as she swung the sharp object at him again.

Russia crawled away in fear, struggling to get off the ground. "W-Wednesday?!" He asked stupidly. Belarus shook her head. With an angry cry she tossed the knife at his side, making him freeze up. The knife plunged into the ground next to him, nearly cutting through his stomach.

Russia got up from the floor, beginning to run, but he fell back to the floor. He looked down, realizing that the knife had pierced through his coat, pinning him to the ground.

The bi-polar Belorussian stood over him, making him cower. "Guess again." She urged. Russia looked away in terror. "I don't know!" He cried, tears welling up in his eyes. This was the end, wasn't it? He was going to die.

"It's your birthday!" She spoke, her threatening glare formed into a blank expression. Russia looked back at her. "M-my birthd-day?" He asked, stuttering s bit.

Suddenly, lights flickered on, revealing the other countries he didn't notice before in the kitchen along with them. "Happy birthday!" They all spoke. Russia just sat cross-legged on the floor, bewildered.

"H-how did you-?" He couldn't speak. When Belarus began to attack him, she freaked him out... a lot. He could see the allies and the axis. They came for his birthday? They really cared?

He felt strong arms grab around his waist from behind and pull him up to his feet. "It's your birthday, Russland. Did you forget?" He heard Germany ask. Russia turned to face him. He smiled. "Nyet. Not really."

Germany smiled back. Russia could sense Belarus's evil glare. He shakily turned around. "Be-Belarus, I thought you were trying to kill me!" He smiled, laughing nervously. The Belorussian didn't answer, pulling her brother away from the German man.

"Are we gonna start a party, or what?" America asked, a goofy smile across his face. Prussia threw his fists in the air. "WOO! PARTY!" He started dancing to no music at all. Soon, Spain, France, and America joined in.

Russia just sat on the sofa in the living room. Belarus had gone to talk to Ukraine for a minute. Good.

"Russia, are you alright?" Germany interrupted him from his thoughts. The Russian nodded, smiling shyly. Germany sat beside him. "I truly hate America's parties." Germany complained. "I don't like _any _parties." Russia nodded in agreement. Prussia had always teased them both for being _party haters. _Honestly, a stupid name.

Speaking of Prussia teasing them, he sneaked up from behind the couch. He yanked away Russia's scarf. The Russian jumped from surprise. "Hey!" He shrieked. Prussia grinned, holding the cloth in his hands. "Give that back!" Russia demanded, leaning on the back of the couch. As he did, the sofa wobbled, falling backwards.

"Gyah!" Both Germany and Russia cried, falling to the floor. Prussia burst into laughter, nearly falling. "Ow..." Russia spoke, trying to get up. He felt something above him, pinning him down. "Ugh..." He heard Germany groan next to his ear. He blushed once he realized Germany was on top of him. Germany looked down, seeing Russia's fallen form. "Could you get off of me, please?" He asked with a small smile.

Prussia was still laughing to death. He pointed at them. "Look at their position!" He spoke through his hysterical fits of laughter.

Germany blushed furiously, lifting himself off of Russia. "Sorry." He spoke, scratching his head. Russia smiled. "You don't need to apologize." He replied.

Belarus glared. There was no way she was going to let that German take her beloved brother away from her. She clutched her hands into fists. Even though she was angry, she had a blank expression, which twitched every now and then.

Russia remembered that Prussia had his scarf. The Prussian was still cracking up, holding onto the scarf. He tried to snatch it from his hands, but Prussia pulled it away.

"You can't catch me! I'm the awesome-man!" Prussia said in a singsong voice as he ran through the house, Russia chasing him.

"Give it back, Prussia!" He shouted. The Prussian ran into one of the rooms in the corridor, leaving the door opened. Russia walked into the room. "Prussia?"

The door shut behind him. He whirled around, being tackled to the floor by the Prussian. "Huh?! Prussia?!" The Prussian smirked, holding the Russian down. "Gotcha!" He spoke, pushing the Russian onto his stomach. (No, there isn't going to be any rape, I apologize.)

He held his arms behind his back, beginning to tie the Russian up with his own scarf. The Prussian walked towards the closet of the room, opening the door. He dragged the Russian over to the closet, placing him in. "Prussia! What are you doing?!" He asked, trying to break free. He couldn't, Prussia had tied it too tight.

Prussia took the remaining parts of the scarf, wrapping it around Russia's mouth to prevent him from making any noise. "Just wanna see how long it takes for anyone to find you." He spoke, walking out of the small space. "Mm-mmph! Mmmph!" Russia tried to shout at him, but it was muffled completely, the only sound being a pained moan.

Prussia grinned. "We're playing hide & seek. M'kay?" He shut the door, putting a chair against the doorknob so if he broke free, he couldn't open the door.

Russia sat in the darkness. "Mm-mmph!" He tried to scream at the top of his lungs. He sighed, moving around to try and wiggle the binds loose. It didn't work. He leaned his back against the wall. He couldn't do anything. He was trapped. What if no one even came to check on him? He wasn't like Canada, how everyone forgot he existed, but he was sure that they wouldn't want to find him.

* * *

Germany helped force the sofa back upright. He noticed Prussia walk out of the corridor he and Russia had run through, but he didn't see the Russian anywhere. He let go of the sofa, letting Italy, who was trying to put it back up, fall to the ground, the sofa falling on top of him.

"Where's Russia?" Germany asked. Prussia shrugged, walking off to talk to his friends. Germany eyed him, walking into the corridor.

* * *

Russia stood up, using the back wall to help. He looked at the door. Maybe he could try to force it open by running into it.

Without hesitating, he rushed forward, slamming his shoulder against the door. "Mmph!" He gasped, falling in pain. He felt pain surge through his body.

He fell on his side. He was gonna stab Prussia seventy-five times in the throat with his faucet pipe after he figured out how the hell to get out of here. "Russland?" He heard Germany call. The Russian sat back up. Did Germany really come to look for him? "Mm-mmph?!" Russia struggled to try and move the cloth away from his mouth so that he could speak clearly.

He heard the German walk in the room. "What the hell?" He said from the other side. He could hear the sound of something heavy being scrapped against the floor. The door creaked open. "R-Russia?!"

The Russian was sitting on his knees, sighing with relief. Germany rushed to his side. "Wh-what happened to you? What the hell did Prussia do?!" He noticed the condition he was in. His clothes wrinkled, his hair perking out at some ends. He was thinking that Prussia had done something _else _instead of just locking him inside the closet.

He untied the scarf from his mouth, allowing him to speak. "Spasibo, Germany!" Russia smiled brightly. He accidentally fell against the German's chest, unable to get up because of his restricted hands. "Eh, I'm sorry." He giggled. The German smiled, hugging the Russian close to him before untying his hands.

"I'm going to go beat the shit out of Prussia." Germany dismissed, walking out of the room. Russia followed. "Me too." He spoke, pulling out his faucet pipe from his coat pocket.

* * *

**A/N: Doodily doo. Doo-doo Dee-doo. **

**That was beautiful. **

**Story nine soon. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Sisters are Evil**

* * *

Russia blushed furiously. "Do I really _have _to wear this to the meeting?!" He asked, trying to cover himself slightly. Belarus nodded. "Today's my birthday. You promised to cheer me up, so this is what you're doing to cheer me up." She smiled. Ukraine stood beside her. "Don't be upset, Russia!" She smiled. "You look really nice, actually!"

Russia crossed his arms. He was wearing a maid's uniform, the skirt was ruffly, and it went down to his mid-thighs. The sleeves were puffy, similar to the sleeves on a fancy dress. He wore knee-high socks, dress shoes worn over them. He wore a headband with a black flower on the left side of it in his beige hair. A bright white apron was tied neatly around his waist.

He still wore his ivory scarf around his neck. To be honest, he _did _look like a woman. He had a feminine face, and curves.

Dem curves.

Belarus grinned at the sight of her brother. "Nyet! I don't want to wear this! I look so stupid!" He spoke, shaking his head. His knees were buckled together, giving his posture an even more feminine look. "Oh, shush." Belarus walked beside him. "You look beautiful."

Ukraine checked the clock. "We're going to be late for the meeting!" She exclaimed. She ran out of the door, Belarus followed her, dragging the transvestite-ish Russian with her.

* * *

Russia stopped walking right when they were about to walk into the room. Everyone was there, all of the allies and the axis. He didn't want to humiliate himself! "Russia, come on." His Belorussian sister urged, tugging on his arm.

"I don't want to..." He spoke, looking down. Belarus glared at him, her stare seemed to stare through his soul. "Fine! I will! I will!" He shouted cowardly, letting his sister drag him into the room.

Once they entered, everyone fell silent. They all gazed at the Russian. He blushed furiously, trying to hide behind his Ukrainian sister. "Looks like being around girls all the time made Russia a woman." Prussia joked, who was straight faced. His stern face formed into a wide smile. He busted into laughter, Spain and France joining him.

Russia looked down, his entire face red. Everyone laughed at him. He crossed his arms, as if to cover his lady-like figure. He felt something tug on his scarf. "Eh?! What are you doing? Let me go!" He shouted, thrashing his arms around as he was dragged out of the room.

The door to the meeting slammed shut, silencing the loud laughter. "Russia. What the hell are you wearing?" He looked up to see his German friend. He looked back down, twiddling his thumbs. "A maid's outfit." He smiled as if nothing were wrong. Germany smacked himself in the face. "No, I know _what _the hell you're wearing. I just want to know _why _the hell you're wearing it."

Russia sighed. "My sisters forced me into it." He spoke, still smiling slightly. Germany nodded. "If I take it off, Belarus will murder me..." He explained.

"Well, you do look very cute..." Germany said quietly. "What was that?" "Nothing."

"Look, let's just head back in. Hopefully you can survive the meeting. Germany opened the door, walking in as Russia followed.

Once the Russian entered, Prussia ran to his side, lifting up the skirt of his dress. "Hey!" Russia shouted angrily. Under the skirt, he wore black panties. Prussia fell to the floor in laughter. Germany looked away, holding his hand to his nose to hide his nosebleed.

Russia held the skirt down, blushing even darker. He extended his leg, kicking the Prussian in his side.

France held the Russian from behind. "Mon Amour, I never knew you could be so adorable." He chuckled. Russia scowled, trying to kick him away.

"Let me go!" He screeched. "Did you really have to wear the panties, Dude?" America asked, laughing his nasally laugh. Russia broke from France's grasp, falling to his knees in defeat.

"Y'know, he looks less threatening with the dress on!" Romano inquired, laughing with the others.

"I'VE NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!" He shouted.

"ENOUGH!" Germany shouted, causing everyone to stop talking and laughing and look at him.

"Let's just ignore what Russia's wearing and move on with the meeting!"

Everyone nodded, taking their seats. Russia took his seat next to Germany. Every now and then, he could see the German looking at him. He seemed rather fascinated at how the Russian looked. Russia sighed, putting his head in his hands. Today was going to be lovely. "I hate my sisters..." He said under his breath.

* * *

**A/N: Your sisters just want to love you, Russia. D: Y U NO LOVE DEM BACK?!**

**Germany is now happy that Russia is in a dress... IT SAID SO IN DE STORY, DUN TELL ME OTHERWISE. ;w;**

**STOREH TEN IN FIVE-THOUSAND YEARS... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH -Shot by random people- **


	10. Chapter 10

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Texting!**

* * *

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Hey, I was wondering, have you seen my brother around? I haven't seen him anywhere.

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany; **

False, it is I. De Awesome Prussia. I HAVE FOOLED YEW ONCE MOAR.

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Prussia? What the hell are you doing with Russia's phone?! WHAT DID YOU DO?

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

That was a lie, I'm not Prussia.

o

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia; **

Goddammit, Russia.

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany:**

Ye, but I haven't seen Prussia anywhere. Did he go out partyin wit' his friends or sumthin liek dat?

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Don't type like that. It breaks my brain cells. Besides, we're grown men, not teenage little girls.

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Wait, yew have brain cells? :O

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Um... Germaneh?

o

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

DAMMIT RUSSIA. STOP TALKING LIKE THAT OR I'M GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND TICKLE YOU TO SLEEP.

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Yew can't tickle meh. I'M INDESTRUCTABLE!

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

You spelled indestructible wrong. Besides, I'll bring Belarus with me. And I KNOW that you're ticklish.

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

OK, OK! I'll stop typing like that! Just don't bring Belarus...

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

:D

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Don't you send me smiley faces, you monster.

o

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

We're drowning in smiles because of you. LEWK AT WHUT YEW DID!

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia; **

What did I tell you about typing like that? I'm not lying about the tickling.

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Oh shit. I forgot.

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

RUSSIA. DID YOU JUST SWEAR?

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

OH FUCKLEY-FUCKEL-FUCKINGTON, I DID. SHIT, NIGGA WE GONNA DIE TONIGHT. RUN LIKE MOTHAFUCKAS!

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Are you alive?

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Hello? ._.

o

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia; **

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU KNEW HOW TO SWEAR. HOW THE HELL? I DON'T EVEN- -Mind blown-

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**From UNKNOWN USER,  
To: Germany & Russia; **

Hai gaiz, Whazzup?

o

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**From Germany,  
To: UNKNOWN USER; **

WHO DE FUCK ARE YOU?

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**From UNKNOWN USER,  
To: Germany; **

Isn't eet obvie, Bro? EET EEZ I, DE AMAZING PRUSSIA OF AWESOMENESS.

SHABALABALAA!

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**From Russia,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Hello. ( ^ J ^ )

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Prussia, I thought we all agreed on making our usernames the names of our countries. Not some fancy shmancy bullshit.

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany;**

Yew can't tell meh whut tew dew. Besides, eet has 69 in eet. :B

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**From Germany,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

I don't get it.

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Me either. What's the joke?

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany & Russia;**

U GAIZ SRSLY DUN KNOW? WTF?

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

How come he gets to type like that? GERMANY, YOU'RE FRIGGIN' MEAN.

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia & DeAwsumPrussian69;**

You don't get to type like that because it reminds me too much of my annoying brother. And yes, Prussia, we don't get the joke. Explain it.

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian,  
****To: Germany & Russia;**

Eets de sex position, where sum gai's junk is in anotha gai's face und while de otha gai is doin' de same ting.

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Ew. Now a terrible image won't go away because of you. ;w;

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

I'm thinking of a glorious image.

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

... Whut?

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany; **

R u thinkin bout whut I think yer thinkin bout? ... O_O

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

If you think I'm thinking about wurst, then you're correct.

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

OMFG! WTF? EWW! THAT'S SICK, MAN

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

What? Thinking about wurst? What so sickeni- PRUSSIA, YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69 & Germany;**

I don't get it. Why is it disgusting?

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Russia,**

You dun undastand becuz yer not a pervert liek us.

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

I'm not a pervert, Prussia. You probably are, but I'm not.

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

Oh ye? How dew yew explain de dirty magazines hidden in yo' room I found de otha day?

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

YOU FUCKING FOUND THOSE?

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69 & Germany;**

I feel uncomfortable. ;^;

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

Dun be upset, Russland. It's just de talk o'... Feck, idek whut tew name dis... Pervertedness?

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

But I'm not a pervert.

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**From Germany,  
To: Russia; **

Don't listen to Prussia, Russia. He's an idiot.

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian,  
****To: Germany;**

Heh, Prussia and Russia... dat rhymes.

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**From Italy,  
****To: Everyone;**

Ve~ Ciao everybody! :D

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**From Germany,  
****To: Italy; **

ITALY. WE DON'T NEED YEW IN DIS CONVERSATION. IT'S AS TERRIBLE AS IT IS NOW.

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

WHY DEW YEW GET TO TYPE LIEK DAT? ;A;

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

That's it. I'm taking a flight to Russia.

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

NO! PLEASE. I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO. I DUN WANNA BE TICKLED.

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

It's too late. I'm already driving to the airport.

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Everyone;**

Aw naw, shits about tew go down.

o

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**From Italy,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

I don't understand. Why is Germany going to Russia? Are they gonna have a tea party? :o

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Italy;**

Close. Dey might... -COUGH-WITHNOCLOTHESON-COUGH-

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

DAMMIT PRUSSIA. STOP BEING PERVERTED.

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**From Japan,  
****To: Germany;**

But Doitsu, I don't understand what's so perverted about what Prussia-san said.

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Japan;**

JAPAN. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany & Japan;**

Um... He came from Japan.

Und de perverted ting 'bout whut I said is dat dey were gonna have a tea party wit' no clothes on.

o

o

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**From Italy,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Ooh! I did that with France once!

o

o

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**From Japan,  
****To: Germany;**

Germany, is that true...?

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o

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**From Germany,  
To: Japan;**

NO.

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Everyone;**

Germany und Russia, sittin' in a tree~

S-E-X-T-I-N-G~. MUAHHAHAHAHAHAH I HAVE RUINED ALL OF YO' INNOCENT MINDS.

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69,**

GHGFDHGGCSHKGDFHGDHAGVDFHK

o

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

Im sorreh, I dun speak crazy.

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Everyone;**

I left for 2 mins tew get sum vodka, and I come back and see all of dis stuff on de screen...

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o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

-Evil grin-

o

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

Germaneh, r u still comin tew Russia...?

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

FUCK YES I'M STILL COMING TO RUSSIA. I AM GONNA TICKLE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

He's gonna grape you. HE'S GONNA FERKIN GRAPE YOU, BISH.

o

o

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**From France,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Who's raping who, Mon ami?

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: France;**

WOO! FRANCE JOINED DE PARTY!

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

PRUSSIA, ARE YOU RANDOMLY INVITING PEOPLE? THIS WAS A PRIVATE CHATROOM!

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o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Geramny;**

Of course im invitin' ppl. Und why is eet private? Did yew want to have sum fun wit Russia? -wink wink-

o

o

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**From France,  
****To: Germany;**

OooOoO~ Is dat true, Germany?

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

Russia. I hope you know that I'm in Moscow now.

o

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

NUOOUU. PLEASE DUN KILL ME.

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

-Evil face-

o

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**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

-Sad face-

o

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**From Spain,  
****To: Germany & Russia:**

-Raep face-

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**From China,  
****To: Germany;**

Why are you trying to hurt Russia? DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU WITH MY FRYING PAN!

o

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**From Hungary,  
****To: Everyone;**

Who said frying pans? OwO

o

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Hungary;**

It's de Hungary Games.

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**From Italy,  
****To: Everyone;**

Pasta~!

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Everyone**

Everybody, get out of the chatroom.

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o

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**From Hungary,  
****To: Germany;**

Aww. D: Oh well, I was gonna leave anyway. Bai.

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

I can see the Kremlin. I'm gonna get you Russia.

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o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

NO. PLEASE. I DUN WANNA. I DUN WANNA.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

Yewz gonna die, Russia.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Everyone;**

I'm hiding. You can't find me.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Russia. Where are you?

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

P.S. HE'S HIDING IN THE CLOSET OF HIS ROOM.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

GOSH DARNIT! HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS? YOU SON OF ADHFL ERJHFBEHJRFHWEGYJUHFH EJVFHGVV RURYYURY4783YYWT3748734N

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

I'm in your house. ouo

o

o

o

**A few minutes later...**

o

o

o

**From Italy,  
****To: Germany & Russia;**

Germany? Russia? Are you two okay?

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Italy;**

He's probably ticklin de shet outta him.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: Everyone;**

DE DEED IS DONE.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

YER A JERK.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

Want me to tickle you again?

o

o

o

**From Belarus,  
****To: Russia;**

BiG bRoThER... Where Are YoUuoOUU?

o

o

o **  
**

**Germany, DeAwsumPrussian69, Italy, and Russia have all left the chatroom. **

**Everyone has left the chatroom. **

**~Shutting down~**

* * *

**A/N: Belarus ruins everything. D:**

**Story eleven soon.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Moar Texting!**

* * *

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Hallo.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Russland? Are you awake? It's like ten o'clock. You better be well awake by now.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

Da, I'm fine. ^-^

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

=_= 'Kay.

o

o

o

**From Germany  
To: Russia;**

I'm at one of America's parties for New Years. Pretty annoying.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

He's having a party? I never knew that.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

Are you saying you weren't invited? That son o' a bitch NEVER invites you to ANYTHING! Why don't you just stand up for yourself and order him to let you join?

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

^-^ It's OK, I hate dat guy's stupid parties anyways.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia;**

What should we talk about? And don't you dare start typing that stupid text language.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

I'm not sure what we should talk about...

o

o

o

**DeAwsumPrussian69 has joined the chatroom. **

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany & Russia;**

Hey y'all.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

PRUSSIA. STOP HACKING INTO MAH CHATS WITH RUSSIA. YOU RUINED MY CHANCE.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany;**

What do you mean by 'chance'? ( o J o )

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: Russia; **

OHSIHZ- NOTHING. I said nothing of the sorts...

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Russia;**

De man wanted tew sext yew, Dearie. ouo

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To DeAwsumPrussian69 & Russia;**

NO I DIDN'T. NO. YOU ARE WRONG. GET OUT. ( /=o=)/ -Flips table-

RUSSIA, DIS MAN IS FEEDING YOU LIES.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany & TheAwsumPrussian69;**

What does 'sext' mean? STOP USING THIS LANGUAGE THAT I DUN UNDERSTAND! ;A;

o

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o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Russia;**

Eet means tew has de sexy times while texting. :P

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
To: Germany & DeAwsumPrussian69,**

(O/././O)

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

NO IT DOESN'T. It means to... it means to... NYEH.

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany;**

West, yew obviousleh have a crush on Russia. ADMIT EET. NAO.

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

NIEN. I DO NOT. I DUN EVEN LIKE HIM.

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

You dun like me?

o

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o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

TAHT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, DON'T ATKE IT TEH WRONG WY.

o

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o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

Dewd. Like, calm down. Ish okai. He probz wuzn't even upset by de thing.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

Russia? o.o Are you okay?

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

Halloooooo? Yew there, Buddeh?

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

Yew fkin' made him cry, yew dinosaur.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Whatever. You just have to ruin everything.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: Germany & DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Imma tickle you guys when the party's over. ( ^ J ^ )d

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

HOH SHET. NEWWOEOW DUN TICKLE ME. FOR DE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS BACON.

o

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o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

OooOh NOOoOoOo~ Not de tickle monster~! -Sarcasm-

Jokes on you, I'm not ticklish.

o

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o

**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

Darn. ;^;

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

But isn't dere anotha way to get revenge? -wink wink- -nudge nudge-

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

NO. STOP IT WIT YOUR DIRTIED MIND.

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

-Pervy face-

o

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**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

OAO NO I DUN WANNA. I DUN WANNA. DIS IS WORSE DEN BELARUS.

o

o

o

**France and Spain have joined the chatroom. **

**From France,  
To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

We talkin' 'bout date rape up in this hizzy? -Raises eyebrows-

o

o

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**From Spain,  
To: Everyone;**

Does anyone know how te make a tomato costume? ouo

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: France & Spain;**

Ye. Dis eez date raep. Im tryin' tew get West tew have de sexy times wit Rusha.

Und yew can make a tomato costume by supa gluing liek 8908898238747672396478263 tomatoes to ur bodz.

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: Everyone;**

LIARS. LIARS EVERYWHERE. A

o

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o

**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

I dun wanna be in this chatroom anymore. ;w;

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: Russia;**

DUN LEAVE ME.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany & Russia;**

MUAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAAA YEW HAVE NO CHOICE BUTT TEW SIT IN SILENCE AND ENJOY OUR LOVELEH CONVASATION.

Teehee. I said butt. :B

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Can't we at least talk about something that ISN'T traumatizing? ._.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Everyone;**

Okie, fine...

SOOOoOo, West,

if yew und Rusha r in a relationship. Who's gonna top? *w*

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Oh well, I dun know. It might be me- OH WOAHA WAT. WAIT A MINUTE. SHUT DE FACK UP.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

STAHP WIT DE WEIRD SUBJECTS. THIS IS SO UNSETTLING. ;C;

o

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**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

ELOL, SO YEW ADMIT DAT UR DE MAN OF DE RELATIONSHIP.

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69; **

NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

NO NO NO NOT ALLOWED. ;A;

What the hell does elol mean anyway? e-e

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Germany;**

Eet means Evil Laugh Out Loud.

o

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o

**From Spain,  
To: Everyone;**

EVIL = EVERY VILLAIN IS LEMONS.

o

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o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Spain;**

xD

WOO LEMONS ALL AROUND! YAOI FTW.

o

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o

**From both Germany & Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

What does 'yaoi' mean?

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

OoooOooOOoOoOooOooOoOOoOOOoOoOOooOooOoOoOoo~ Dey hasn't heard of eet, Prussia~

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany & Russia;**

-GASPS- YEW DUN KNOW?

On yo' phones, Google 'Germany Russia yaoi' Eet shoulds come up.

o

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o

**A few moments later~**

o

o

o

**Russia has re-joined the chatroom. **

**From Russia,  
****To: Everyone;**

WHAT IS WRONG WIT YEW? ;O; I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW. Dere were pictures of me and him... doing... thingz... D: I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

I ruin all minds. -Evil perveh face-

o

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o

**Five minutes later~**

o

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o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

Where's West? Is he back yet? o^o

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Nyet. I don't think so.

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: Everyone;**

He's on his phone. I can see him by one of de tables. He has the most frightened, yet fascinated expression on his face, though. His face is realleh red too. *c*

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: France;**

Where de hell are yew, France? Yew in de fkin vents or sumthin? Yew can like see everything.

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Actually, I am in de vents. I'm partying wit de fkin cockroaches.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: France;**

Really? Is it fun?

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: Russia;**

Gosh darn it, Russia. Yer too gullible. No, I'm not realleh in de vents. I'm sneaking up behind Britain.

o

o

o

**Germany has re-joined the chatroom. **

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: Germany;**

ERMAHGERD. I THOUGHT YEW FKIN WENT ON AN ADVENTURE FO' A MOFO MINUTE. WHERE DE HELL HAVE YEW BEEN, WEST? TO FKIN' NARNIA?

o

o

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**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

I've just been browsing the internet...

WHY ARE WE USING ALL CAPS?

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: Germany;**

Mmhmm... Browsing the internetz. oWo

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: France;**

SHUT UP, YOU WENCH.

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
To: France;**

Aw, he called yew a wrench.

o

o

o

**From Germany,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

I said wench, not wrench you idiot.

o

o

o

**From France,  
****To: Everyone;**

AW SHIETZ, BRITAIN SAW ME.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: Everyone;**

Guess where I am! I'm somewhere close! ^C^

o

o

o

**From DeAwsumPrussian69,  
****To: Russia;**

De Chocolate Factory? IS WILLY WONKA THERE?! If he eez, slap him in de face seventy-three times. I need revenge when I went dere last tiem.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: DeAwsumPrussian69;**

Nope~!

o

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o

**From Germany,  
****To: Everyone;**

Italy's standing behind me. o-o He's just right behind me.

o

o

o

**From Russia,  
****To: Germany;**

TURN. AROUND. LUDDY!

o

o

o

Germany looked at his phone in confusion. Did Russia just call him 'Luddy'? How the hell did he know his real name was Ludwig?! He was just about to type a response, but he felt arms wrap around his neck. "NYAH." He thrashed around.

"Hello~!" He heard Russia call from behind him. That wasn't Italy behind him, it was Russia! The Russian giggled as he let his hands fall to his sides.

Just before Germany could answer, Russia began to tickle him. "Aw, it's true. You really aren't ticklish." He sighed, seeing as how the German had no reaction.

Germany looked around. He realized that they were alone, everyone else in the other room. Maybe this could be his chance. He stepped closer to the Russian, a tender smile on his face. He slowly leaned forward, blushing a bit as he did.

Russia stood still, as if he were afraid to move. Their lips touched, forming a soft kiss.

"OH HOLEH SHET, IT's GERMANY!" Prussia shouted.

Germany and Russia immediately pulled back, the both of them blushing darkly.

The albino pointed at them. "Y-you guys were just kissing, weren't you?" He asked. The two stayed silent.

Just then, Prussia ran out of the room flailing his arms around while making an odd _Oolooloo _sound, so called as his 'victory screech'.

"HEY, EVERYBODY! GERMANY AND RUSSIA WERE MAKING OUT IN HERE!" He shouted. Germany face palmed.

Leave it to your annoying elder Prussian brother to ruin a romantic moment.

* * *

**A/N: xD **

**That speaks the truth. ;v; **

**That part where Prussia's running out of the room screaming "OOLOOLOOLOOLOO" Is something I got from Spongebob xD.**

**VICTORY SCREECH! OOLOLOOOLOOLLOLLOLLOLOLOLLOLLLOOLL! **

**Story twelve soon. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Germany and Russia Moments**

**Beer and Viagra are Never a Good Combination**

* * *

Russia and Italy sat uncomfortably on the sofa. "Germany...?" Italy asked the intoxicated German in front of them.

"What do you want from me?" He asked, looking at him. They had been at Italy's house, throwing a party for New Years. It was amazing that America didn't show up.

Prussia laughed as he stood from the doorway, watching the German talk to the two confused Europeans.

"Who gave you alcohol again?" Russia asked. Germany grinned. "JESUS! Jesus is mein savior." He replied.

Prussia laughed even harder.

Germany noticed the bottle of Viagra on the table next to the chair he was sitting in. He picked it up. "I'm gonna swallow this entire bottle... of... of Viagra, and... I'll... I dunno what I'm gonna do." He spoke stupidly as he twisted the lid open.

"Germany, don't do that-" Before the Russian could finish speaking, the German had already swallowed each of the pills in the bottle. (Goddammit Germany YOU HAD ONE JOB... -.-)

By now, Prussia was dying of laughter. "What the hell, West?!" He spoke through his fits of laughing.

Italy shifted in his seat, either moving away from Russia or just upset because his perverted friend had just devoured a bottle of Viagra in two and a half seconds.

"Don't you look at me." He pointed at Russia. "With you and your... fuckin' pretty ass face." Russia stared at him in a look of terror and confusion. "E-excuse me?" He asked.

Germany hiccuped, laughing a bit when he did. "Y-you have a goddamn beautiful face." He repeated. Russia leaned back. "O...K...?"

Prussia walked over to the side of the couch where Italy and Russia were sitting. "God knows what's about to happen." He spoke with a sly grin, noticing the bulge forming in the German's pants.

Russia blushed, looking away. Italy had nearly no idea what was happening so he had a derpy smile on his face. (And yes, derp is an actual word in the English dictionary.)

"I have the most p-painful erection right now..." Germany spoke, looking at the large bump in between his legs. Prussia looked over at Russia, grinning. He had the most awesomest idea ever in the history of the world.

He grabbed Italy by his arm, yanking the young Italian out of the room. "Hey, Italy. Why don't we go cook some pasta?" He asked, continuing to pull Italy to the kitchen. "Oh, um... OK." The door slammed shut behind them. Russia looked around. He sweatdropped, noticing that there were no other doors in the room.

He heard the sound of a lock clinking in the door Prussia and Italy had just went through. Goddamn Prussia.

"Eh?!" He shrieked in surprise when Germany put his arms on either side of the couch, preventing the Russian from moving. He had a deviant smirk on his face. "Y-you know," He began. "I always thought th-that you were v-very sexy."

Russia squirmed uncomfortably. "Could I get up, please?" He asked softly, not wanting to anger the German. Both of their faces were a dark shade of crimson.

The Russian whimpered when he felt the German's erection against his crotch. This was _so _weird and uncomfortable.

"I'm going to love you... and you will ENJOY IT." Germany spoke. Russia leaned back, away from the German. "NIET! Nietnietnietniet!" He said frantically, his cheeks a dark red.

* * *

Prussia chuckled. He could hear the sound of something slamming against the wall in the next room, presumably the sofa. He could also hear the sound of Russia screaming and crying in agony.

"What's happening in there, Prussia?" Italy asked as he stirred the pot of cooking noodles with a ladle. The Prussian ruffled the Italian's hair. "You can learn when you're older, Italy." He remembered that Italy was already an adult. He was probably about twenty something years old, he was just as innocent as hell. "Or you can just ask your brother. I'm sure he'd be happy to explain it." He added.

"OK!" Italy smiled. The two returned to making the pasta.

When Germany was sober, he beat the shit out of Prussia. Russia was never the same again.

* * *

**A/N: That was lovely. **

**I'm sorry if my stories seem to all sound the same. I just get these stupid ideas that are all alike. ._. **

**Next storeh soon. **


End file.
